« Meet your Zoom Pal », este un proiect pentru adolescenți al Asociației Iele-Sânziene desfășurat în colaborare cu asociația franceză Chemins d’avenirs ( https://www.cheminsdavenirs.fr).
În cadrul proiectului, 20 de tinere liceene, 10 din România și 10 din Franța s-au întâlnit timp de câteva luni, la distanță, pe Zoom, pentru a discuta despre importanța solidarității și a prieteniei între femei, dincolo de frontiere. La finalul întâlnirilor, tinerele participante au redactat un portret în limba engleză al noilor prietene, pentru a împărtăși experiențele adolescentine în diferite contexte culturale.
Vă invităm să citiți mai jos portretele scrise de Arina Costea și Cassiopée Lauvernay.
Cassiopée, my zoom pal
This is the story of a beautiful soul called Cassiopée. Or, to be more precise: Cassiopée (Consuelo Lysbeth) Lauvernay.
I have met her online and we got along very well from the beginning. We found out that we have many things in common and it felt really relatable to talk to each other. To start off, Cassiopée is 15 (½) y-o, she is an only child, her mother and father are 52 years old and they all live in a small village (200 inhabitants). This aspect about the small village raised my interest because I live in a big and loud city, so I asked her ‘What is it like in the country side?’. She said, and I quote: „Well, it’s…calm! I mostly stay at my house, reading and being on my phone (I have a big garden and I live just by a park, so this is quite pleasant!). I love living far from cities, and this is probably where I’ll go when my studies are finished! Many children hate this, because there are not enough activities (we only have one restaurant in our town, not even a bakery or something), but I wouldn’t exchange it for anything else! I think the one thing that is really different is going to school, because our transportation can take up to 1 hour! But even if some teens walk to their schools in cities, I know that some take public transport for a very long time too, so that’s not a big difference. I’d say that the different thing is all the landscapes that you can see when you take the bus in the countryside :). But yeah, you NEED a car to do anything most times!” A beautiful thing she shared with me related to this whole countryside lifestyle was that she is part of „Chemin d’Avenirs”, which is an association that helps countryside kids get the same chances as city kids! I think it is very thoughtful of her!
This project for Iele-Sânziene is, obviously, based on feminism and the amazing opportunities it can bring into our lives! I asked Cassiopée if there was a specific moment that made her realize she can indeed call herself a feminist. She said to me: „There wasn’t a particular moment, but I think if I was to choose one it would be when I understood I didn’t have to have the same ideas and points of view as my parents, because one of them has very strong ideas that I disagree with. But it’s okay, I still love him ;)”.
I also wanted to see what inspired her. She responded that she really admires people who put their hearts and focus 100% into what they do. Some examples in her case are her cello teacher, her mother (a very, very kind person!), her father (“very strong ideas but always there for me and my mother”), but also some of her school teachers: ex-physics teacher (“Mrs. Shahidi, who comes from Iran, extremely active but extreeeeeemely kind”), her now physics teacher (“Mr. Forest, adorable, always there for his students”), and the list goes on. If we are not talking about people, then she is inspired by what she sees around her: situations, landscapes, books, news etc.
We also chatted a bit about our goals and aspirations. „Now, I’d like to become a physicist. When I was smaller, I wanted to be a teacher (the subject varied: English, French, Music, Physics, …), but, with time, I learned that this job isn’t the best even though it seems really cool, so I’d like to try and go higher, so that, even if I fail, I can have a good job (something to illustrate that would be “Always aim for the moon, so that even if you fail you can fall in the stars”:) ). I think my 8 y-o self would be proud of me, because I wasn’t in a good school at 8 and didn’t have lots of friends; but that really changed, so I think I’d have been happy to know I ended up where I am,” she says. – by the way, I really do hope that this little angel fulfills her dreams, you go girl!
Returning a bit to the 8 year old self, I need to appreciate the trust Cassiopée had in me to share that she was bullied in primary school and that it still impacts her today („I wasn’t in the same middle school as these people, so it was fine, but I recently started seeing them in high school… It has led to some trust issues, and really wanting to be perfect, or at least better than them.”)
Now, as a conclusion, some fun facts about Cassiopée:
– Has been playing the cello for 10 years (and ongoing)
– Has been in drama clubs for 6 years
– Has danced for 8 years but she stopped
– Has been a member of scouts for 5 years but she stopped -Is an atheist
– Is a leftist and not a big fan of capitalism
– Oh! And almost forgot! She has two chickens!! How freaking cool is that, guys? Wait, I will show them to you, they are adorable:
Portrait of my Zoom Pal
Her name is Arina Camelia Costea, she is 18 years old.
And this is her story.
—
Arina was born in June 2004.
She has two sisters of 34 (who are twins), and a 50-years-old step brother.
Ever since she was a kid, Arina has been very curious and has had a tremendously adventurous spirit.
Her favorite games were pretending she was a pirate, or an explorer (which is why she loved Pirates of the Caribbean and Indiana Jones).
However, one day, one of her classmates told her she couldn’t be a pirate, because she was a girl. Little Arina was very surprised : « Why so ? » she asked ; « Because. It’s that way, that’s all. ».
Ever since, and for the rest of her childhood, Arina would wonder why. She discovered things that stayed a mystery for her : « Why is pink for girls, and blue for boys ? Why doesn’t it go both ways ? And why do I have to play dolls, whereas my male friends play with car toys ? ».
All those kinds of questions that most adults were embarrassed of when it came to answering them.
Then, a few years later, she discovered the concepts of patriarchy and misogyny. This helped her understand this phenomenon better… But also realise that this was a tough and unfair world for women to live in.
And tough experiences she did live.
When she was 4, her dad died.
This traumatising loss led to trust issues for her, as well as a fear of being a disappointment, which is directly related to a desire to be perfect.
Growing up without a father figure gave her lots of traumas and bad consequences, and this greatly affected her as a girl and future feminist: she spent a long time seeking validation from older men, and thinking they were good persons… but, as she did not see their true intentions, this lead to her being taken advantage of by these men.
When she was 8, she often spent her summers by the sea, as her mom had relatives living there. That summer, they went to Arina’s great aunt’s house. This great aunt had a husband, who was about 60 at the time. One day, Arina was watching TV. The husband came in, and started telling her she looked « delicious », and that she « felt good to him ». He then started rubbing his hands against her private parts, touching her very aggressively. Arina didn’t understand what was happening very well, but she felt uncomfortable. She fought back, and was able to escape the room. If she hadn’t, she probably would have been raped. She went to her mom and told her what had happened.Her mom was very shocked. She told Arina that she wasn’t to be alone with him ever again, and they both left shortly after that . This man didn’t go to jail. And no police was ever involved. Arina escaped a fate that could have been worse; but the trauma of this event was so huge that she lost all her memories of it until she was 14.
Despite all of the abuses she went through, Arina grew up to become a brave and strong woman.
She started to consider herself a feminist when she began speaking about these abuses.
As I said earlier, Arina started understanding the world women lived in when she read about patriarchy and misogyny; she said some truly beautiful things to me, that I want to share here (so I’ll just copy what she wrote):
« It is a tough world we live in.
For us, women who struggle with misogyny, and for them, boys who will grow up to be men who struggle to make it out of the still remaining circles full of misogyny and confusion among men nowadays. I am saying this because I see many friends of mine who are feminists and I dearly appreciate them. Because feminism is not about women who need a pat on the head when they speak, feminism is about the power of understanding which we all need to provide to our beloved humans, that, truly, no gender is better than another. Feminism is about taking this idea and putting it out in society more and more, so that one day we reach a better life in our circles. »
First of all, I want to say I agree with her.
Second of all, our partnership has shown that this solidarity not only exists between women, but transcends nationalities and borders.
Another thing that I want to say is that Arina seems incredibly brave to me.
Her family are Jehova’s Witnesses, so some part of feminism probably wasn’t obvious from the start. She also got through multiple abuses.
Well, now she has liberated herself from a religion that didn’t correspond to her (discovered buddhism a few years ago, and it changed her life), became an active feminist, and worked hard for her dreams to come true.
Arina is an artist; ever since she was a child, she enjoyed singing, dancing and acting (she is in two theatre clubs this year, just the same as I am, which I find to be a funny coincidence 🙂 ), and she is trying to make this her reality. She actually won the “best actress in a main part’’ title for her last piece! What Arina wants to do with her art is take something and make it everything. She uses nature and the spiritual verse to « show what hides behind her eyes and beyond her mind »
A small victory for her, that probably made her 8-year-old self very proud, is that she now owns an indoor cat! Her mom refused to let her keep one in the house when she was small, so that’s nice!
She also has a dog named Bubu :D.
Well, I think this is the end of this portrait. Thank you for reading it!
I really enjoyed exchanging with Arina, and I do admire her for what she has become today, despite everything she’s gone through.
Thanks for all of this, Arina, and thanks to Chemins d’Avenirs and the Iele-Sânziene project!
